THE RIDER: Cumgirl8's Top 10

Ahead of their album-release show TONIGHT at Baby's All Right, the band on Pomeranians, the perks of ~being strong~ and the most cosmopolitan type of vegetable in town

Congrats to Cumgirl8–first and foremost, for making it through your spam filter. No matter what service provider you use, you know this is gonna be hotmail ;))))

But beyond outsmarting the internet equivalent of flashlight-wielding parents at a middle-school dance (leave room for Jesus!), a far more significant congratulations is in order, because the NYC experimental-punk band just dropped their debut LP, the 8th cumming—out everywhere now!

Here’s what the group (for the record, of four—not eight), has to say about the album:

Welcome to the digital apocalypse. Reality is deleted!  

As the earth-born simulation of consciousness approaches its inevitable post-reality, we cumgirl8, upon our 8th cumming to this planet earth, present our alien kin with a sonic cum-piss to navigate the imaginary boundary between science fiction and social reality. The simulation is the hyperreality.  

As your hosts, we have cum to conduct serious play with the virus of humanity; to lead you through the swamp of e-waste, the degenesis of technology, and the overflow of the rebellious AI meme-plex.  

We are all cyborgs, released from the originas sacred slime. Guided by the phallic mother and the planet VNS we give you a world without end. 

Interest… or…. other things…. piqued? Now that your search history is sexily skewed and screwed—and, if this is your work email, HR has def been alerted— finish the job by scooping up the hottest tix (take that, Oasis!) in town:

To the band’s record-release show TONIGHT at Baby’s All Right!

GRAB YOUR TIX HERE!

This is your last chance to catch the band before they head out on their US headline tour October 15th—and then hit Europe and the UK next month. Songs will be sung! Fluids will flow! A lot of weird-but-in-the-best-way kind of shit will probably go down! So cum one, cum all, and send the group off in sweet, sticky style just as nature (+ mostly the internet) intended.

BUT FIRST! Read on for Cumgirl8’s edition of the RIDER–a top 10 celebrating strength, sandwiches and a v special (v fluffy) canine crew member.

Cum n get it!

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CUMGIRL8’S TOP 10

1. Broccoli rabe

I love broccoli rabe. It’s my favourite vegetable. It’s thinner, it’s earthy, it’s a little challenging but it keeps you coming back for more. I’m pretty sure it’s nutritious and it sounds very cosmopolitan. (Chase)

2. Pritney

Pritney our pink Pomeranian manager, because they’re goofy and the unconditional love that they give is priceless. 

3. Gonzos Studios

Gonzos Studios, we don’t know where we’d be without that place. It’s the rehearsal studio where we wrote the record, we practiced there – they were very nice to us.  

4. Being strong

Feeling strong physically because it is fun and intimidating and useful. 

5. Deli sandwiches

Deli sandwiches because they’re cheap and they fill you up. 

6. Headphones

[exclamation]

7. A clean house

Because it’s nice. (Chase)

8. Collina Strada

I like Collina Strada clothes because they’re fun and colourful and their mascot is also a Pomeranian named Powwie so it seems relatable. (Veronika)

9. Washing machines

Washing machines are really helpful. 

10. Love

Love.

I love love. (Chase)

Unconditional love. 

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Top 10 above written + submitted by Cumgirl8. Follow the band at @cumgirl8, buy merch n stuff at cumgirl8.com and add the songs to your Spotify playlists!

Feature image provided by the band.