9.8 A wknd w/ SKORTS
The band on NYC's best burrito, the perils of surfing Ticketmaster stoned and their Sunday-night show(down) at Arlene's Grocery
ANOTHER ROUND OF APPLETINIS for our friends in SKORTS, who are not only responsible for two recently released bangers—“Bodies” and “Cyclops Girlfriend,” available on Spotify now for your streaming pleasure—but also for our upcoming inevitable overdrafting. (Wells Fargo, let this SETLIST serve as future evidence of FRAUD!) (More on that below.)
Brooklyn bands continue to blow us away with not only their music… not only their performances… but also their ability to craft increasingly strange and somewhat deranged weekend itineraries that really capture both the weirdness and wildness that this city and its weirdo residents have to offer.
And this one, god bless, is no exception.
For those unfamiliar with SKORTS, don’t feel too square. The band is quite new, but rather than tiptoe into the scene, they seem to have straight-up kicked the door down and exploded all over it, with their name landing on pretty much every rad bill in the borough. All the sudden, we saw SKORTS on flyers all over our feed, and when we finally caught them live on the clam-and-funnel-cake-scented concession-stand stage in Rockaway earlier this summer, we totally understood why: They are very, very sick. So we already forgive them for putting all of their and their friends’ fancy drinks on our (FOR THE RECORD, NONEXISTENT!!!) tab tonight.
ANYWAY! Don’t just take our word for it—catch these babes live at Arlene’s Grocery SUNDAY NIGHT with a dream of a bill that includes Demonstrator, Car Becomes Airplane and the party people of partygirl. Grab your tix here.
Before all that, from music to pierogis to pancakes, these pals have got you covered. Go on, get sweaty and, please, have a wonderful weekend —
We’ll see you out there <3
[BUT FIRST: PRESS PLAY]
FRIDAY
Friday 9/8/2023 7PM - The city is about to bubble over with hyper horny energy. The energy is too much to handle after a hard day’s work and as you hear the factory whistle blow, you wipe your grease stained knuckles clean, phone a friend and seek refuge.
Little Poland Restaurant in LES provides you that refuge. Boasting flyover state diner decor, a modest menu of traditional Polish food and a staff of lovely women that make it feel like you are home at moms. Or maybe the condo of a great aunt who always wanted children but “could never get the man or the timing right.” Either way, you feel loved here in this plastic wrapped booth. You place your usual shared order of potato lamb stew, 8 boiled pierogis and two Zywiec beers. A small feast and all for well under $20 a head.
Your bellies are full, another beer is on the way and now it’s time to plot the night. You both pull a pair of concert tickets out. Two for Arctic Monkeys with Fontaines D.C. the other pair for Steely Dan with EAGLES. It’s all gone horribly wrong. However will you decide??? The night appears to be over before it even began. But then you remember in your back pocket is a saving grace… Olivia Rodrigo tickets. Two of them, crispy and unscanned.
Over $5,000 in concert tickets now sit on the laminate table soaking up lamb stew and sour cream. You think about all the hours you put in at the factory. And for what?? Turner is past his prime, Grian has gone solo, Steely Dan?? You aren’t some NYU art student!? Half the EAGLES are dead and Olivia Rodrigo?!? This is exactly why you don’t scroll ticket master high at 4am.
Give it all away… it’s all that can be done. Jump ship and completely start from scratch. Down your polish beer and leave all six tickets as a tip. I’m sure the ladies at Little Poland love ‘Lyin Eyes’.
With your burdens left behind make haste to the Brooklyn bound L train to catch a truly special treat. Telescope Club have biked all the way from Maine to play a show at Rubulad! You’ve not seen your dear friends since they relocated to the woods some time ago. It will be great to catch up and see their toned legs.
There’s no better hang than the outdoor Rubulad bar and with the show being presented by Bands Do BK ;) it’s sure to be a good scene. Get a lot of drinks here and when they ask if you want to start a tab just tell them, “it’s under Sam’s tab.” They’ll know what this means and you’ll be permitted to drink for free the rest of the night.
The show is over, the bartender cut you off, you’re now part of The Telescope Club so its time to act like it. Get your ass on a bike and make your way to ALPHAVILLE to try and catch the tail end of Pons set. Even if you miss it someone will be spinning records to dance to. Let the night fade, have fun, that 5,000 dollars is gone forever.
SATURDAY
Saturday 9/9/2023 - Your head hurts a little but its your conscience that aches most. That was a lot of drinks last night and on Sam’s tab no less. You wonder how much you cost her. You wonder if you can make things right. $150? $250? You bought that stranger you met in the teepee at least four appletinis. The bartender kept telling you they don’t do appletinis but you offered to pay double for the inconvenience. The bartender gave it their best shot.
Coffee and a long bike ride over the bridge into Manhattan for the best burrito in New York will help clear your mind. The chorizo burrito from Electric Burrito is THE BEST BURRITO IN New York. It’s a relatively new hole in the wall, albeit with a pretty influencers welcome aesthetic and prices to match… But at least they are doing tacos and burritos right! And $14 is a small price to pay for a chihuahua sized burrito that should be eaten in two sittings. West coasters rejoice because Electric Burrito is succeeding in what New York has failed at for far too long - Mexican Cuisine.
Once again your knuckles are coated in grease. However, this time it’s not factory grease, it’s pork grease baby. You can never save that second half for later but what are you gonna do? Bike with 3lbs of refried beans in your pocket? The grass under your ass at park holds you like a baby. The midday sun and breeze kisses your skin and the breakfast burrito acts like ambien in your gut. You nod off… Passed out in the park like a chorizo and egg junky.
When you come to, you find your negligence has left you without your steed. The bike you came here on is gone and that’s the second one stolen this summer. Fuckers… As you stumble to the train, you realize another problem, a MAJOR problem, you’re hungry again. Espinal Deli off the Bedford-Nostrand G stop has you covered. Pigs feet over rice and beans is medicine for the soul. So much pork
The sun is now set, your cellphone is definitely dead. The stolen bike and the fear of what else karma has in store for you leaves you with no choice. There is only one thing to do. DANCE. DJ Rubber Footed is spinning a healthy collection of funk records at ALPHAVILLE tonight, all night. Get out on the floor and once again leave your burdens behind.
SUNDAY
Sunday 9/10/2023 GIG DAY - You’ve run all weekend long and now you’ve run out of road. Today's hangover is worse than yesterday and you’ve got a gig. To make things worse you’ve got a gig and Sam’s gonna be at the gig. Call it off? Bail? No, no, no… get it together. Head to rehearsal space in Gowanus and grab a slice from Table 87 while you’re down there. People have mentioned controversy around this place but that doesn’t make their coal oven slice taste any different. A veggie slice and a house lager to get you straight and its back to business. Write and record a couple demos before packing up your gear and getting to the gig at Arlene’s Grocery w/ Party Girl, Demonstrator and Car Becomes Airplane.
Pop into the warehouse sized thrift store that used to be an L Train Vintage and put together an outfit for the show. Throw on your new digs and enjoy that new thrift store outfit smell that pairs so well with show sweat. When you arrive at the venue, let the sound person know immediately that you won’t be playing by their rules. This is key to a smooth and successful night. Establish dominance early and arrange stage to your liking. After a bumpy sound check, investigate why nothing you requested on the rider is in the green room. After being ignored by the entire staff, yell to the heavens, “What has become of this once great city!?!?”
Time to fuel up for the climax of the weekend. Empanada Mama is close by but it’s not Empanadas you’re going for. A full stack of flapjacks is exactly the meal one needs to play a lively rock n’ roll show. Extra butter, a lot of syrup and one candy apple empanada for dessert. You’re now ready to rock. Taking to the stage, you now wish more than ever that the tums you had requested on the rider had been delivered. The room is spinning and the sound on stage is a crunchy unbalanced mess. Maybe the sound person was right? The sugar high is gone and you’re left with the attendees of Arlenes Grocery booing you.
Tomatoes start to fly, beer cans as well. They bounce off of your distended belly too full to move. It’s a full on hail storm of items and insults being flung at you. Through the onslaught you see Sam with a full pizza pie in her hand. She rears back and chucks the entire olive and pepperoni pie right at your dome. She yells, “That’s for Friday! Who still drinks appletini’s you nerds!” The full pie knocks you off balance. The crowd, still furious, roars louder as you fall to your back. The pizza lay atop of you like a weighted blanket. You feel concussed and struggle to keep your eyes open. The curtain is closing, everything fades to black and the show is over.
Itinerary above written + submitted by SKORTS. Follow the band at @skorts_, and add the songs to your Spotify playlists!
Feature image provided by the band.
MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS
NEW BANDSKETBALL PERFORMERS JUST DROPPED! We’re stoked to welcome CONSUMABLES and MONOGRAMS to the bill. More details and band bracket en route. Keep up with the action at @bandsketballin_bk.
In extremely sick news, Trevor Courneen of BK band Deep Wimp has a book coming out! Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Bruce Springsteen: Wisdom from the Music and Musings of an American Dreamer drops on September 26th and there will be a FREE reading and reception at Lofty Pigeon Books that you can RSVP for here. CONGRATS, TREVOR! (You know we love an author.) Description of the book below.
Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Bruce Springsteen is an eye-popping collection of stunning photos and insightful lessons inspired by Springsteen’s life and musical legacy. For decades, the Boss has imbued his work with great depths of feeling and authenticity, speaking his truth to millions of fans worldwide. The analysis of his lyrics and the story of his life have generated bestselling literary works for decades.
Now, as Springsteen takes on what may be his final world tour, on the cusp of turning an unstoppable 75 years old, author Trevor Courneen examines Bruce’s lyrics, quotes, media appearances and personal history, mining each for the invaluable bits of wisdom that so often give life and meaning to his music, and translates them into actionable lessons that readers can apply to their own lives.
Throughout, the book features stunning black and white and full color photos of Bruce on stage, in private and on the road, making this book a one-of-a-kind collectible or gift book for fans of the Boss.
RELEASE RADAR
New(ish) stuff from local (+ occasionally, once-local) artists we love, listed in no order whatsoever:
“Maybe In Time” // Laura Galindo
“Last Ditch Effort” // Frida Kill
“Sorry Darling” // Sorry Darling
The Tale of Tommy Gunn // Johnny Dynamite
“Believe Me (Or Don’t)” // Gardenia
“Moment of Trust” // HNRY FLWR
“The Hard Way” // Eighty Ninety
IT’S HAPPENIN’
9.8 w/ Mary Shelley, Moonunitt, The Plebs, Telescope Club @ RUBULAD (tix here)
9.10 partygirl, SKORTS, Car Becomes Airplane, Demonstrator @ Arlene’s Grocery (tix here)
9.16 BdBK x New Colossus SUMMER SATURDAY with Two-Man Giant Squid, Sally Hatchet, gum, Couvo, Carissa Johnson @ 18th Ward Brewing
ICYMI
Around the blog and from the archives
PREMIERE: '“Nowhere Town” from Climates
THE SETLIST by Bands do BK is a reader-supported publication that’s freeeee. BUT! If you want to become a paid subscriber to show some love and support the work BdBK is doing… well, hey. That’d be pretty rad of you. <3
Thx 4 reading! Find more fun stuff at bandsdobk.com and @bandsdobk. <3
Order the Bands do BK BOOK (!) (out now via Lit Riot Press) here.