1.12 A wknd w/ this HOLY rodeo!
The band on borscht bunkers, mole men and their Friday-night show (that's TONIGHT!) at Arlene's
YEEHAW!
Sure we use that a lot, but it’s an exclamation that’s actually relevant (!) this weekend, which is brought to you by the most pious of cowpokes… our lassoing lord n saviors…. the ropin’, pope-in’ (?), howdydoodiest dudes of this HOLY rodeo!
(Please note the punctuation is very much a part of the band name.) (Which we LOVE!)
Now, you’ve probably noticed that there is a certain SETLIST spectrum on which each itinerary appears. Some bands submit bullet points highlighting shows/bars/burritos—a more minimalistic approach. Other artists elaborate earnestly and enthusiastically—sincerely singing the praises of the BEC of their preferred bodega and preaching the bean-n-vibe virtues of their favorite coffee shop. And then, every once in a while, there’s a group or an individual that, to put it mildly, goes off the goddamn rails—
Which is obviously our absolute favorite kind. And today, friends, is one of those Fridays.
Before we let you loose to party with the mole men… or something like that… a la the instructions of this HOLY rodeo!, allow us to tell you a little bit about the band—a four-piece that describes themselves as both “a group of very well-adjusted young gentlemen” and “city-slicking snake oil salesmen.” (Good news: The bio is beautifully bizarre too.)
In the words of the band—or perhaps their equally off-beat publicist—this HOLY rodeo! is a “well-funded corporate endeavor to maximally synthesize global market research in order to produce the most well-rounded and widely appealing music possible.” Oh, and “they will one day rule the earth and control most major waterways and the distribution of ethanol.”
You heard it here first!
As for TUNES, our soon-to-be overlords are currently riding the wave of their most recent single “HH2PEAK”—which promises “verbose and capricious lyricism, glitchy jazz-punk mathisms, at least three guitar solos, and enough bass syncopation to please even the most voracious latin jazz freak”—with a video in progress, as well as a music doc in the works.
As for SHOWS, you can catch the band TONIGHT at Arlene’s Grocery with NEVERHOME, Marcyline and Ryan Palmer!
GRAB YOUR TIX HERE.
Alright, that intro was veering dangerously into the copy/paste ~journalism~ style of the bot-run blogs that run depressingly rampant on the internet these days, but hey—honestly, any original thoughts we have to offer you are approximately 200,000% less entertaining than what the band itself has provided. So consider it not an act of laziness, but of generosity. A testament to a priority of this publication: the interest and entertainment of you, our oh-so-valued subscriber.
And with that, we will leave you in the clearly very capable (or at least hilarious) hands of this HOLY rodeo! for the next three days.
GIDDYTHEFUCKUP, PARTNERS—it’s gonna be a weird one.
[BUT FIRST: PRESS PLAY]
FRIDAY
WELCOME TO this HOLY NYC-WEEKEND rodeo! (as legally authorized by the corporate entity this HOLY rodeo!™). In accordance with the ancient human ritual of devolving into abject hedonism come end of the working week, this HOLY rodeo!™ invites you to begin the day in Tompkins Square Park, located in the East Village. As you peruse the muddied remnants of the recent snow, take a moment to contemplate Vice President Daniel Tompkins (for which the park is named), whom we all know so much about the life and times of that to list any of his numerous achievements here would be redundant. Pass by an impromptu game of basketball on the park’s many courts, furiously demand the players add you to their game, and then realize you have mixed up basketball with baseball and have spent half the game trying to get to home base while you get dunked on 23 times in a row.
With the bitter taste of defeat now souring your mouth, trudge just a few minutes walk onwards to Streecha (СТРІЧА on the sign). Descending the stairs into this subterranean fortress of Ukrainian delicacies is perhaps the only bunker that will provide you solace to heal your bruised ego. Forget your humiliating defeat as you slurp down authentic borscht (a warm soup made of beets). Mull over more future baseball strategies while feasting upon their exemplary varenyky (Ukrainian-style dumplings filled with potatoes and/or meats, served with caramelized onions and sour cream or butter). Contemplate the numerous signs that populate the wall calling for the death of Putin alongside portraits of adorable Ukrainian Babunya’s as you thoughtfully chew a kielbasa (a seasoned, smoked garlic and pork sausage). As your lower esophagus begins to go into overtime, it is guaranteed that you will feel a renewed sense of vigor.
Exit your Ukrainian fortress of garlic and solitude. Look to the skies and with luck you’ll see the sun setting, just in time for a 15 minute walk to Arlene's Grocery: an underground music Uluru, the Sinai of Stanton Street, the Adam-ondi-Ahman of angular post-punk bands (and reasonably-priced alcohol). Be sure you arrive at 6:30 for doors with $15 ready for entry to witness a show sui generis: a CHOOSE YOUR OWN COVER set featuring performances from NYC’s finest in the form of NEVERHOME, Ryan Palmer, this HOLY rodeo! (hey, that’s us!), and Marcyline. Each will grace the stage in an explosive cavalcade of their own original music, closing their act with a cover song that the audience voted for on their instagram pages. Let loose with NEVERHOME’s sharp indie rock, sway meaningfully to Ryan Palmer’s folkisms, take a smoke break during this HOLY rodeo’s set (they’re mid), and prepare to expand your mind with Marcyline’s brilliant experimentations and forward-thinking rock music. Being certain to tip your bartender and purchase at least one article of merchandise from each band, you may proceed to wander the village in a drunken stupor, rambling peacefully into the night to all passerby about the mole men who live inside the hollow earth.
SATURDAY
Wake up, grab your phone and put a little makeup, and board whatever transportation necessary to arrive at Bluestockings, an excellent, politically radical and collectively-owned bookstore located in the Lower East Side. Though you’re only here to do further research on the mole men, you may allow yourself to be enticed by books like “The Assassination of Fred Hampton: How the Chicago Police and FBI Murdered A Black Panther” by Jeffrey Haas, “The Ethnic Cleansing of Palestine” by Ilan Pappé, “Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution” by Peter Kropotkin, “Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center” by bell hooks, and other light reading. Be sure to only read the mole men books, though, and fuel up with their excellent fair trade coffee and baked goods.
At noon, head to the corner of 44th Street and 5th Avenue in Brooklyn to join with the Sunset Park Elders to protest U.S. involvement in the current genocide of Palestinians and demand a ceasefire in Gaza. this HOLY rodeo! feels no need to explain the importance of participating further.
After doing your part, shift into the mindset of being a cowpoke mozying across the range. Feel your weathered Reeboks morph into tanned Tecovas, hear the clinking spurs with each step, rest your grizzled hand on your leather holster, gently affix your Stetson cowboy hat over your beanie, and swing through to New York’s finest saloon: Skinny Dennis in Williamsburg. As you enter, direct your attention to the other Western buckaroos huddled around the Shuffle Inn machine, drop a quarter into the centuries-old jukebox (play some Hank, for god’s sake), and have the bartender pour a tall glass of sanctuary so that you can drink away the cares that trouble your weary heart: Oh, Darlene, my angel, how the hell did you make a man of a no-good rat bastard like me? I ain’t never meant to worry you so, but a man’s gotta wander this big country, no matter how warm your arms kept me those cold Tulsa nights. Wipe the tears away, blow the snot out of your comically large mustache, and get carried off by NYPD for being a Wanted Man while honky-tonk crooning plays you out.
SUNDAY
Assuming the nail file cut through the jail cell bars, escape onto the streets, discarding your cowboy clothes for modern ware and blend in with the crowd. They’ll be searching for you, and don’t think for a second the mole men aren’t behind this, and on the Day of our Lord, no less. Nevermind that, quietly and inconspicuously teleport to Queens and enter the Museum of the Moving Image. Featured prominently is an exhibition to Jim Henson, with a massive display of his life’s work and most importantly, Kermit. Kermit, like “Kermit the frog here,”? Yes, that Kermit is there. I know. Deep breaths. Nothing else matters now. Shove aside as many children as you need and gaze in majesty at the green God Himself. Kneel before Him and recite His Sunday prayer: Bizeppi alamurch peen bunko flogwog… you know the rest. In your frenzy, you may also find some makeup and production design pieces from The Exorcist. Boooooooooring.
After proper respects have been paid, set course towards the Hess Triangle in Manhattan. Though the triangle be small, allow this site, in all of it’s iconic “Get bent, pal” New York-ism, to give you an hour to reflect upon the nature of private and public property and what the ethics of allowing people or organizations to control the ground, what gets put under the ground, what gets put in the ground, what gets put on the ground, what gets put above the ground, what even constitutes as ground, does property just go all the way to the earth’s core? At what point does ‘your’ property end? Is that a mole man looking at me? Get the hell out of there, NOW!
The mole men have been following you the whole time, and you knew it. You were just too scared to admit it to yourself. And now, every corner you look, is another one of those sniveling bastards, licking their hungry lips in anticipation to… you’re not sure exactly. It doesn’t matter. They’ve got you surrounded. There’s nothing left for you to do but to go down with the ship. If this is it, you may as well go down with something flavorful between your canines. Pies ‘n Thighs in Williamsburg should suffice. Gorge yourself like a ravenous jackal upon Southern style donuts, juicy fried chicken, crunchy grits, crispy waffles, and creamy mac and cheese. Be brave, captain. Don’t shed a tear. Just tear through your last meal, and let them close in. Die like a gentleman, and may your soul carry on, singing your shanty into the next life.
-this HOLY rodeo!
Itinerary above written + submitted by this HOLY rodeo!. Follow the band at @thisholyrodeo, buy music on Bandcamp and add the songs to your Spotify playlists!
Feature image provided by the band.
MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS
FEBRUARY: WE’RE MOVING INTO OUR WICKED LADY ! Come out every Thursday of the month (fun fact — there are 5!) for a BANDS DO BK RESIDENCY ft. bills stacked fat with faves. Dates and lineups under show section below :)
As of yesterday, we are BACK IN RADIO BUSINESS, BABY! Next week’s guest is Tetchy, who will be coming at you liiiive, talking about their new record All In My Head (out TODAY) and their fave places in BK, spinning songs by their fave local artists and maybe just maybe, if we’re good, gracing us with a sweet little in-studio performance. Tune in via radiofreebrooklyn.org or the RFB app—next (and every) Thursday at noon.
ICYMI, Trevor Courneen of BK band Deep Wimp wrote a book—Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Bruce Springsteen—that was published last year! Which is very, very cool. If you want to hear some printed words from the artist and author said aloud and IRL, you can catch Trevor showing off his Boss moves at the next reading, January 24th at Bookeater.
Looking for love?! It’s not on the internet—trust us, we’ve looked. Instead, we suggest making your Singled Out /Next / Dating Game dreams a reality on February 6th, when Charmaine of NEVVA (+ a bunch of other stuff) fame and Alex (that’s Papi Shiitake) host THE DATING SHOW LIVE on the roof of Our Wicked Lady! Want to be a contestant? DM Charmaine to apply.
Got a big gig? Looking for a real stage in a real venue to rehearse? Arlene’s has got you covered. For cost and info on how to rent the room for rehearsals, email Lucy at lucyarlenesgrocery [@] gmail [.com].
In sweet FREEEEE show news (tho $10 donation is very much encouraged!), you can catch BdBK fave Work Wife with aden at East Village cocktail and whiskey bar Down & Out next Thursday, January 18th. Info and tix here.
RELEASE RADAR
New(ish) stuff from local (+ occasionally, once-local) artists we love, listed in no order whatsoever:
“Starting and Sharing” video // Gustaf
All In My Head // Tetchy
“I Saw Jon Hamm At The Beach” // Loose Buttons
“Better Off” // Couvo
IT’S HAPPENIN’
2.1 BdBK PRESENTS: O.Wake (album release) w/ Mary Shelley @ Baby’s All Right - tix here
BANDS DO BK does OUR WICKED LADY
2.1 Jelly Kelly, A Very Special Episode, WifeKnife, King Bug
2.8 Marinara, Kristin Flammio & The Pretty Bitchin, The Plebs, War Violet, Sue Your Landlord
2.15 SKORTS, Debbie Dopamine, Go Home, Sandile
2.22 Little Slugger, gobbinjr, Fair Visions, Otracami
2.29 Obleek, The Resonaters, Real Burn, Short Porch, samkae
THE SETLIST by Bands do BK is a reader-supported publication that’s freeeee. BUT! If you want to become a paid subscriber to show some love and support the work BdBK is doing… well, hey. That’d be pretty rad of you. <3